Do You Want To Be Very Happy?

Do You Want To Be Very Happy?

Let me tell you a crazy story.

One morning, a woman was sad when she faced the mirror. She discovered she only had 3 strands of hair on her head. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll braid my hair!” And after doing so, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.

The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she only had 2 strands of hair. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll part my hair in the middle.”  After she did that, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.

The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she only had 1 strand of hair left. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll wear my hair in a ponytail.” After she did that, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.

The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she had zero hair left. Suddenly, she smiled. “Yeepee!” she shouted in glee, “I don’t have to do my hair today!”  Immediately, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.

          Do you want to be happy?

          Here’s how…

The Difference Between Pleasure and Happiness

           

            A thick wad of P1000 bills gives pleasure.

          A chocolate parfait with thick chocolate syrup gives pleasure.

          A fun movie, with a bucket of popcorn on the side, gives pleasure.

          A roller coaster ride gives pleasure.

          A kiss gives pleasure.

          What’s the difference between pleasure and happiness?

Pleasure is an outside job.

          But happiness is an inside job.

          It doesn’t depend on any external circumstances. Yep, even if you only have three strands of hair on your head.

          Happiness isn’t the absence of problems.

By the way, do you want me to show you a few people who don’t have problems? Great. Bring your shovel out and let’s dig them up from their graves.

The Bible doesn’t say, “Be joyful sometimes.” Or “Be joyful when you don’t have problems.” The Bible says, “Be joyful always.”

          It that possible? I mean, c’mon. No one can be happy 365 days a year.

But the Bible says, “Be joyful always” because happiness isn’t a mood.

Happiness isn’t an emotion either.

          Happiness is a way of life.

7 Tools Of Happiness

I know of strange human beings walking this face of the earth who are extremely happy. Not just moderately or mildly happy. But deeply joyful. (Hey, you may be one of them. Congratulations!)

I know them. Some of them are my friends.

Because of my work, I’ve traveled all over the world. 

Last count: 36 countries. That’s a lot of frequent flyer miles, jet lag, and lost luggage.   But that also means I’ve met more people than the average person on the street. It’s not just the sheer number or the variety of people I’ve met. Because I’m a preacher, I’ve not only met them, I’ve engaged many of them on a deep level. Like on our first meeting (or phone call or email), they open up their heart and pour to me their problems like I was their soul mate. 

So I have this distinct advantage of knowing lots and lots of people on an intensity that’s beyond superficial.

So I asked myself this question: Who are the happiest people I know? I listed them down. After sifting through the hundreds of thousands of people archived in my brain, I asked a more difficult question: What is common among them all?

I came up with seven great things I see in extremely happy people.

I call them the 7 Tools of Happiness:

1.     Happy people create their destiny

2.     Happy people like themselves a lot

3.     Happy people nurture connections

4.     Happy people find delight everywhere

5.     Happy people embrace change

6.     Happy people trust deeply

7.     Happy people work their purpose daily

At the FEAST, for the next few Sundays, I’m preaching on these 7 Tools of Happiness. (If you want to join me, it’s at Valle Verde Country Club, beside ULTRA, in Pasig. Join us every Sunday with three sessions to choose from: 8am, 10:30, and 1pm. It’s FREE! For more information, email support@kerygmafamily.com.)

But let me share with you why many people are unhappy…

Your Body Is Hardwired To Be Afraid

            The enemy of happiness isn’t sadness.

          The enemy of happiness isn’t problems.

          The enemy of happiness isn’t loneliness.

          The enemy of happiness is fear.

          Our lives are so fueled by it. We run our lives by fear.

In Dan Baker’s excellent book, What Happy People Know, he explains how our body circuitry is wired to fear. 

          Our brains have three parts. The brain stem, the amygdala, and the neocortex. The more primitive parts of our brains, the brain steam (also called the reptilian brain, because reptiles have these for brains) and the amygdala are programmed for fear.

          Why? Our ancestors needed fear for their physical survival. Imagine yourself living in the wilderness with lions, wolves, and cobras around you. Danger lurks behind every tree and shaddow. 

Once their brains register fear, the endocrine glands produce our fear hormones adrenaline and cortisol. It gave them super strength to fight or flight. And in fighting or fleeing, they exhaust the adrenaline and cortisol in their bodies. Well and good. But what about us who usually sit behind desks and work on computers?

          We still have the same fear mechanism.

          But this time, we’re no longer afraid of lions or cobras behind every tree.

          We afraid of our rising credit card bills.

          We’re afraid of our boss.

          We’re afraid of losing our jobs.

          We’re afraid for our children—what will happen to their future?

          We’re afraid that at 35, we won’t get married anymore.

          We’re afraid we’ll grow lonely.

          We’re afraid we’ll run out of money.

          We’re afraid of social rejection.

          We’re afraid of social shame and losing face.

          We’re afraid of disease.

          And these fears are so real, our endocrine glands produce adrenaline and cortisol as well. And because we’re seated behind our desks, pounding on our computers, we really don’t use up any of it. Adrenaline and cortisol become poison in our bodies, destroying our health bit by bit.

          Thus, very few people are happy.

          Conclusion: If you want to be happy, we need to overcome our fears.

          How?

The Only Antidote to Fear Is…

            Twenty years ago, a friend gave me a book about facing fears.

          My arrogant response to her: “Thanks for the book. But frankly, I don’t think I need it. I don’t know why, but fear isn’t a problem for me. I don’t have any fears.”

          Ten years later, I ate my words.

          Because after a deep soul search, I realized how my life was run by many fears. Many of the things I was doing I did because of fear!

          I feared what other people said about me.

          I feared failure.

          I feared angry people.

          I feared of not having enough.

          I feared of not being enough.

In my life, I’ve discovered that there is only one thing that can overcome fear.

          There is only one thing that is more powerful than fear.

          The only antidote to fear is love.

          When you fill your life with love, your fears naturally disappears.

          I’m talking about a love for God, a love for others, a love for yourself, and a love for life itself. The Bible says, Perfect love casts out all fear, and I totally believe it.

          In fact, remember the 7 Tools of Happiness I listed above? Every single one of them is really a facet of love—and each tool can drive away a specific fear in your life. Once your fears are gone, happiness will flood your soul.

          I’ll talk more about it in my next Blog.

          May your dreams come true,

          Bo Sanchez

Do You Like Yourself A Lot?

Do You Like Yourself A Lot?

If you don’t mind, let me start with an old Genie joke.

One day, a Genie appeared to a woman and said, “This is your lucky day! I will give you 3 wishes.”

“Yeheey!” the woman squealed.

“But on one condition,” said the Genie, “Whatever you ask for, your husband will receive 3 times more.”

The woman frowned, “What? But I hate my husband! He’s a despicable man!”

The Genie shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m the Love Genie. I repeat: What you ask for, your husband will receive 3 times more.”

The woman said, “Oh, okay. My first wish: Make me very rich. I want $1 Million.”

The Genie asked, “Are you sure? Your husband will have $3 Million.”

She says, “Oh, never mind. What is his is mine and what is mine is his.”

“Very well then!” the Genie said, and with a wave of his hand, and “Poof!” the woman had $1 Million—and her husband had $3 Million.

“My second request is that I want to be very beautiful.”

The Genie asked, “Are you sure? Your husband will look like Piolo Pascual and Sam Milby and John Lloyd put together. This is very dangerous. The girls will flock to him.”

The woman said, “Just as long as I’ll be beautiful.”

And with the wave of his hand, “Poof!”, and she became utterly beautiful and the husband three times more handsome.

The woman then said, “For the third wish, I would like to have a very mild heart attack.”

Life Is A Mirror

                                                         

            Here’s the lesson: Whatever you give to yourself, you give to others more.

          If you like yourself, you’ll like others too.

          If you dislike yourself, you’ll dislike others too.

          Because life is a mirror. What you see in others is a reflection of what you see in yourself.

          I’ve met very critical people. Sometimes, I think they feel that they were born to criticize others. It’s their life mission. All they do is size up everyone they meet and point out their mistakes. Where does this critical spirit come from? In their heart of hearts, I believe they don’t like themselves. And they project this self-criticalness on others. 

This “disliking ourselves” is more widespread than we think…

It’s An Epidemic

            At their inner core, people don’t feel good about themselves. Like background music playing 24 hours a day, people inflict upon themselves self-rejection, self-doubt, self-contempt.

It’s an epidemic in the world today, and it’s robbing people of much happiness.

          Where does this sickness of self-hatred come from?

          Self-hatred comes from fear. After all, hate is fear. We hate what we fear.

Specifically, we fear we’re not enough. Bottom line, we fear we’re unloved.

          And when we don’t like ourselves, we try to solve it by many common false solutions. For lack of space, let me give you two here. One is having Status Symbols. The other is Religious Performance.

Collecting Status Symbols

            I know a lot of people who clutch, grab, and collect Status Symbols.

          I remember the story of the guy with a BMW. After parking, as he opened the door, another car crashed it and ripped out his door—together with his entire arm.

When the police came, they saw the guy looking at his mashed up BMW and crying, “My car! My car! It’s gone…”

The police said, “Excuse me sir, but don’t you realize that your arm is gone?”

The man looked at where his arm was supposed to be, and when he saw nothing, began to cry, “Oh my gosh! Where’s my Rolex?”

Some are so attached with their Status Symbols.

          You see these people walking in malls. Shirt by Lacoste. Shoes by Bally. Watch by Rolex. Waistline by Crispy Creams. 

          I was talking to a friend who wore a Rolex watch. I asked him, “I’m curious. Why are you wearing a P300,000 watch on your wrist?”

          His answer made me very sad. He said, “Honestly? To make me feel like somebody. To make me feel good about myself.”

          Wow. If I want to feel good, I breathe. I smile. I pray. I love.

          Let me give you another false solution to not liking ourselves…

We Make God In Our Image

                       The other false solution is Religious Performance.

          When we don’t like ourselves, some get into religious practices to appease a God whom they believe also doesn’t like them. Why?

          Because life is a mirror. 

Because we make God in our image and likeness. 

Because we project our self-hatred on God.

          For years, I used to be like this. I prayed, read the Bible, and did my religious work because I wanted the approval of an angry God.

          No more.

          I do all these because He loved me first. (1 John 1:14)

          So how do you start liking yourself a lot?

What’s Your Default Question?

            You have a Default Question that you ask yourself a thousand times a day.

          It’s like your OS or Operating System, working in the background.

          For many people, their Default Question is “What’s wrong?”

          They wake up in the morning and unconsciously ask, “What’s wrong with this day? What’s wrong with my life?”

          And throughout the day, they keep asking their Default Question:

          “What’s wrong with my husband?”

          “What’s wrong with my parents?”

          “What’s wrong with my kids?”

          “What’s wrong with my job?”

          “What’s wrong with my friends?”

          And the deadliest Default Question is “What’s wrong with me?”

          Some people ask this question again and again throughout the day, it kills their spirit. Because they find so many things wrong about them. No wonder they don’t like themselves!

          The question “What’s wrong?” is a very useful question—not as a Default Question—but as a question during emergencies. (When there’s really something wrong!)

          What then should be your Default Question?

Key: Appreciation

            The Default Question we should ask is, “What’s right?”

          Ask it a thousand times a day.

          “What’s right about this day? What’s right about my husband? What’s right about my kids? What’s right about my job?”

          And especially the very healthy question, “What’s right about me?”

          If the Bible is right that you’re really made in the image of God, then by golly gee, you must be a phenomenal human being.

          You’ve got stuff in you that are fantastic—and you need to take time to appreciate them.

          Remember: Only love can defeat fear. And appreciation is love.

          When Jesus healed the ten lepers, only one came back to thank Him. He asked, “Where are the other nine?” On that day, ten were healed physically but only one was healed completely. Ten were healed physically but only one was healed physically and spiritually.

          Heal yourself by appreciation.

          And here’s one thing you can do…

Write It Down

           

            Sit down and write 25 things you like about yourself.

          I did this the other day and couldn’t stop at 25. I ended up writing 67 things I like about myself! And since the list is in my journal, I plan to keep adding onto it until I reach100.

          But start with 25. Celebrate who you are. Thank God for who you are!

          This will change you.

          All of a sudden, you realize how special you are.

          And slowly, you’ll start liking yourself a lot.

The Most Important Reason

Three days ago, I was swamped with work.

I had so many articles to write, so many meetings to plan, so many business concerns… But my wife said, “Please bring Francis to the Barbershop. He’ll be a ring bearer.” That’s the disadvantage of having a cute son. He gets to be ring bearer a lot.

So I put aside all my work in the afternoon and brought him to the Barber.

After the haircut, I was thinking that we were going back home so I could work. That was when 4-year old Francis said, “Daddy, I’m hungry.”

So we marched to Jollibee and he ate chicken and rice at 4 in the afternoon!

Again, as we were leaving, I was presuming I could now go back to work. But Francis tugged on my arm again and said, “Daddy, I’m still hungry.” My gosh. Where does this little guy put all that food?

Later on, I realized he was hungry not for food but for love. Specifically, hungry for Daddy’s love.

So we kept on walking, visiting other shops, until he saw a playground. His eyes grew large and said, “Daddy, can I play?”

I believe life is about moments. So I bought myself a cup of coffee, sat on a park bench, and enjoyed watching my 4-year old jump from one slide to another.

We had the grandest time.

Why did I disrupt my whole afternoon for Francis?

Because I’m his father and he’s my son.

He’s more important than all my work.

He’s more important than all my ministries.

He’s more important than all the books I write and all the talks I give.

Friend, this is the ultimate reason why you need to like yourself.

Because you have a Father who loves you so much.

You’re more important than all the stars in the sky.

You’re more important than all the galaxies of this universe.

In the heart of God, nothing compares with you.

If He loves you this much, how can you not like yourself?

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

Are You Sexually Pure?

Are You Sexually Pure?

          May I disturb you?

Last Sunday, I disturbed the 6000+ people attending the Kerygma Conference. 

Because that morning, God disturbed me too.

He woke me up and told me to totally change my talk. Just like that. I had barely a few minutes to prepare, so I didn’t even know everything I was going to say.

On stage, I opened the Bible to Matthew 11:28:“Come to me all of you who are weary and tired and I will give you rest…” That passage is so well known, you even see it in Hallmark cards. But very few read the hard-to-understand verse after that. Verse 29 says, “Take my yoke upon you…”

Which is a rather strange way of giving someone rest!

Just in case you didn’t know, a yoke is the heavy wooden beam that you put on cattle or oxen, so they could pull a plow or pull a wagon. Not very restful, I assure you. What in the world was Jesus talking about?

I told the 6000+ people listening to me that there were two kinds of tired people: Those tired because of their trials and those tired because of their sins. And it was the second group of people I wanted to speak to.

Are you tired because of the yoke of sin?

I believe no one on this planet ever walks without a yoke. No one! There are only two yokes available: You either carry the yoke of God or the yoke of sin. (Anyone who defines “freedom” as freedom away from God is carrying the heaviest yoke or burden of all.)

I then told my audience, “God woke me up this morning to tell me that today, we need to make a commitment—on our knees—to the yoke of purity.” 

That day, I just felt a burden in my heart to preach about purity.

I said, “You either carry the yoke of purity or the yoke of impurity. Both are yokes. But one is a million times heavier than the other. And the word ‘million’ is a gross understatement.”

The crowd was silent. More silent than usual. I knew I was hitting a sore spot—a topic no one wanted to talk about.

“Friends, I know the yoke of impurity,” I said, “I was addicted to pornography for decades. Let me tell you—I liken porn to swallowing vomit. It sucked my life. It consumed so much of my time and energy, it almost destroyed my life and dreams. Until God came into my life and He asked me to give it up, in exchange for the beautiful and very light yoke of purity.”

A Word To Boyfriends And Girlfriends

I also talked to singles in relationships. “Stop playing around with this beautiful gift of purity. Don’t open this gift, toss it around, or smudge it. Preserve it and give it to each other on the day of your wedding.”

I asked them to set the bar high. “When my wife and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, we decided not to kiss each other on the lips. It was crazy. And believe me, it was difficult! The struggle was great. But we set the bar very high so that if ever we failed, the slippage won’t be deep. That decision kept our relationship pure. We explored each other’s minds, not each other’s bodies. On our wedding day, we were able to give ourselves the beautiful gift of purity.”

“I know that others put the bar so low,” I said. “As long as they don’t have sex, they think they can do whatever they want. But singles who do this find out sooner or later that they destroy the gift of purity.”

I also spoke to those who already lost their virginity. “Physical virginity is important. But spiritual virginity is more important. Even if you’ve done ‘it’ before, make a decision with your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep your relationship pure from this day forth. And God will give you spiritual virginity. This is the gift that you’ll give each other on your wedding day.”

Renounce Emotional Adultery

I then spoke to husbands and wives.

 “Physical adultery is obviously sinful. But how many of you reject Emotional Adultery? When God invented marriage, He designed you to give 100% of your thoughts, your affections, your emotions, your attractions to one person and one person alone. When you do that, your marriage is dynamite. Powerful. Magnificent. Your marriage blooms because you invest all that you have to one person. But when you slice up your thoughts and affections and give one sliver to this other person and another sliver to this other person, you scatter your power. Don’t wonder why your marriage lacks depth and joy and love.”

That day, I led all 6000+ to kneel down.

First, the singles. Second, the couples.

All of us repented of our sins.

All of us received His forgiveness.

All of us gave up the yoke of impurity.

All of us took on the yoke of purity.

          All of us made a solemn commitment to live a life of purity.

          It was so powerful, so moving, you could see people in tears.

            Many were set free that day.

          Friends, I invite you to make the same commitment today.

          Take the yoke of purity.

          Jesus wants to set you free.

          May your dreams come true,

          Bo Sanchez

PS3. I preach at the FEAST every Sunday. No tickets and no entrance fees! Get very blessed! We hold the FEAST at Valle Verde Country Club in Pasig, beside the ULTRA. Three sessions to choose from: 7:30am-9:00am; 10am-12noon; and 12:30noon-2:30pm. For more details, call Tel. (02) 7259999 now.

PS. Do you want to keep growing spiritually? Join my virtual community called www.KerygmaFamily.com and receive a mountain load of spiritual nourishment everyday for FREE. Log on at www.KerygmaFamily.com now!

PS2. Do you want to gain financial abundance? If you want practical and inspirational help on gaining financial abundance, test-drive 2 months of my www.TrulyRichClub.com for FREE! You’ll receive my audio PowerTalks on CDs and my WealthStrategies each month. Log on at www.TrulyRichClub.com now!